How do we define success, and is it different for everyone?

Defining success is one of life’s most profound and personal inquiries, as it touches on our values, aspirations, and the very meaning we assign to our existence. To explore this, let’s weave together insights from philosophy, science, psychology, and practical wisdom, and perhaps even a metaphor to illuminate the path.

1. The Philosophical Lens: Success as a Subjective Construct

Philosophers have long debated what it means to live a “good life.” Aristotle, for instance, introduced the concept of eudaimonia, often translated as “flourishing” or “fulfillment.” For him, success wasn’t about external achievements but about realizing one’s potential and living in accordance with virtue. In contrast, existentialists like Jean-Paul Sartre argued that success is deeply personal and self-defined, emerging from the choices we make in a world without inherent meaning.

This suggests that success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s shaped by our individual values, cultural context, and the narratives we construct about our lives. What feels like success to a poet (creating beauty) may differ vastly from what feels like success to an entrepreneur (building a thriving business).

2. The Scientific Perspective: Success and the Brain

From a neuroscientific standpoint, success is often tied to the brain’s reward system. When we achieve goals, our brain releases dopamine, creating a sense of pleasure and motivation. However, this system is highly adaptable. What once felt like a monumental achievement (e.g., landing a first job) may eventually feel mundane as our expectations and benchmarks shift—a phenomenon known as the hedonic treadmill.

This implies that success is not a fixed destination but a moving target. It’s less about the external milestone and more about the internal state of growth, engagement, and satisfaction.

3. The Psychological View: Success as Alignment

Psychologists like Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers emphasize the importance of self-actualization—becoming the best version of oneself. Success, in this framework, is about aligning our actions with our authentic selves and deepest desires. It’s not just about achieving societal standards (wealth, status, etc.) but about living a life that feels meaningful and true to who we are.

Positive psychology further highlights the role of relationships, purpose, and gratitude in defining success. Studies show that people who prioritize connection and contribution over material wealth often report higher levels of well-being.

4. The Practical Dimension: Success as a Process

On a practical level, success can be seen as a process rather than an endpoint. It’s about setting meaningful goals, embracing growth, and finding joy in the journey. This perspective encourages us to focus on what we can control—our effort, attitude, and resilience—rather than fixating on outcomes that may be influenced by external factors.

5. A Metaphor: Success as a Garden

Imagine success as a garden. Each person’s garden is unique, shaped by the seeds they choose to plant (their goals and values), the soil they cultivate (their mindset and environment), and the care they provide (their effort and persistence). Some gardens may bloom with vibrant flowers (creative achievements), others with sturdy trees (lasting impact), and still others with nourishing vegetables (practical contributions). The beauty of a garden lies not in its comparison to others but in its ability to reflect the gardener’s vision and dedication.

6. Is Success Different for Everyone?

Absolutely. Success is deeply personal because it’s rooted in our individual experiences, desires, and definitions of meaning. For one person, success might mean financial independence; for another, it could be raising a loving family, creating art, or making a difference in their community. The key is to resist societal pressures to conform to a single definition and instead cultivate a vision of success that resonates with your unique self.

Practical Advice for Defining Your Success

1. Reflect on Your Values: What truly matters to you? Is it creativity, connection, impact, or something else? Your values are the compass that guides your definition of success.

2. Set Intrinsic Goals: Focus on goals that align with your inner desires rather than external validation. Ask yourself, “Will this bring me lasting fulfillment?”

3. Embrace the Journey: Success is not just about reaching the summit but about enjoying the climb. Celebrate small wins and learn from setbacks.

4. Cultivate Gratitude: Regularly acknowledge what you already have. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.

5. Stay Flexible: As you grow, your definition of success may evolve. Allow yourself the freedom to redefine it as needed.

Final Thought

Success is not a fixed destination but a dynamic, ever-evolving journey. It’s the art of living authentically, growing continuously, and finding meaning in the unique tapestry of your life. By embracing your individuality and aligning your actions with your deepest values, you can craft a definition of success that is truly your own—one that brings you not just achievement, but fulfillment and joy.